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All 17 game Reviews


Shitty Fucking Art Game Shitty Fucking Art Game

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Shit.

Calling it satire does not excuse the fact that the game was, overall, pretty lame. The controls were incredible clunky, the mechanic was stale and boring, and the story was lame as shit.



Alice is Dead - Ep 3 Alice is Dead - Ep 3

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

wat

Who the hell's The Queen? What the hell is Oystercloud and why the hell does it make fish rain down from the sky? What the FUCK kind of ending was that? Worst ending evar. I realize you guys were trying to be abrupt, but you left too many questions unanswered and the game was far too short to be any sort of conclusion to the series.


ImpendingRiot responds:

Stop that.


Xeno Tactic 2 Xeno Tactic 2

Rated 3 / 5 stars

OK, but could use some help!

It was alright, same old pass by defense game, put there are tons of others. I would suggest making a new one with units that when you upgraded them, they transform (half the fun of upgrading them) rather than just changing color, that's boring. Then add some kind of fun twist like a small mix of rpg, or something.



Snot Put Snot Put

Rated 5 / 5 stars

4110 meters

BEAT THAT, SUCKAS!



The Torture Chamber III The Torture Chamber III

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Major Bug

Not sure if it was just me, but if you hold down w to increase the temperature of the room, it just kills him instantaneously with an undefined finisher after a few seconds. Kinda ghey.



Moko Moko Moko Moko

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Yeah...

Wow, dude, you managed to repackage Breakout. Your flash skills are amazing. Your creativity, boundless! ... Not.



Ingenous Personality Quiz Ingenous Personality Quiz

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Quite Fascist

I thought it was kind of funny how the only class you had ANYTHING nice to say about was the Party Animal. The quiz also isn't very accurate, and anybody who says otherwise is pretty dumb, to tell you the truth. I go to parties and hang out with my friends all the time, as well as play online games and surf the net, spending time "texting" as well as just plain talking, and yet I was classified as a "Tight Ass". Was it because I would rather call an ambulance when a guy falls rather than grab a video camera and laugh at him? Or that I'd rather be a policeman than a clown? This quiz is pretty weak, just like all other gadgets that think they can tell what kind of pretense a person belongs to.


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Goliath The Soothsayer Goliath The Soothsayer

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Spooky!

I actually played this game on the first day it came out on the site for the CD on Amazon. Dude, I've been a fan of your works since Exmortis first came out on the front page. I eagerly await Exmortis 3, and wish you luck on your future projects.



Ninja Rampage Ninja Rampage

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Meh.

It's really not that great. Most of the levels are too easy. The only ones that I wasn't able to do in less than fifteen seconds were the ones that were made to be impossible, such as the one with the three NPCs and the gong. It's really just annoying when you do things like that. Second, why make three different killing moves if they all do the same thing? Trying to find out what attack did which only served to irk me in the end when I found out that all of them were similar. Furthermore, the graphics were really choppy. The walking animation especially was really terrible. The entire game reminded me of an episode of South Park. Another thing that I noticed was that on some levels the environment would glitch, and walls that should have been scalable before were suddenly unclimbable. There's nothing more annoying that spending twenty minutes on a game only to have to exit the level and go back to the menu and then realize that there was no save feature. Oh yeah, there wasn't any save feature to speak of. I definitely disagree with the people giving out tens. Ninjas don't immediately make a game great, and this game was a case in point. In my opinion, this game was better in its original format.

Yes, that's right people. This game is a remake of a game that can be found on a different website. That version is also much better.



CQC CQC

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Lahooser

Right, you definitely stole CQC from MGS3, and considering CQC is about hand-to-hand combat, this really doesn't make any sense, especially since this wasn't close quarters at all. The voice acting was terrible, the recoil from the gun was abnormally large, and there was no way to regenerate health, to boot. And if you're going to have multiple people in a shooting game, you should make it so that they help you, as opposed to using them as plot devices that tell you to do things ON YOUR OWN. That's TOTALLY unrealistic. No commanding officer ever tells a soldier to do something by themself because it's a danger to the life of the soldier, and, if the soldier is neutralized, to the rest of the team. This game, overall, was a pretty lame one in most aspects, and in all of the others, it was average. Next time you make a single player shooter, get someone else to do the voices, and don't the main character repeat stupid catch phrases like, "Eat my lead," and the ever popular, "DIE!" That takes away from the game.